What Do I Want Out Of Life?
It is a most peculiar thing to have dreams buried deep inside a person. Why is it such a struggle for some to bring their dreams to life? We stall because of the security of a job or we listen to the wrong people or we lose faith in our abilities or any one of a variety of reasons. In the realm of Emotional Intelligence this inaction can be directly related to one of four categories:
- Self Regard
- Self Actualization
What Is The Fear
Psychology Today offers a definition of fear. Allowing circumstances from our past, toxic relationships and inner talk to control our behavior does not allow room for personal growth. Others’ opinions and personal performance do not define you and keep us from pursuing our dreams. Consequently, our dreams are controlled by our fear. However, until you are able to shed this thinking you will remain stuck. This is why personal victory is so important. The past is about control and the future is about growth.
It is a lack of faith in oneself that causes a man to go to his death with his dreams unrealized
My propensity to risk began when I was 10 years old. And, like many of you, it’s the ten-year old in me that either pushes me to take risks or to seek comfort in the ordinary. Lucky for me, there were three men who had a profound impact on my life:
- Robert Francis (Bobby) Kennedy,
- My fifth grade teacher Mr. Trantum, and
- My uncle Charles.
Robert Francis Kennedy April 23, 1969
The young Kennedy had recently decided to make a run for the Presidency of the United States of America. And as luck would have it, he would be traveling through my hometown of Wabash, Indiana on his “Whistle Stop” tour on the Wabash Cannonball. I saw Bobby in newspapers with people gathered all around him but it were the boys and young men who wanted to get nearest to him or perhaps these are the ones he wanted to help the most – the future of America. Regardless, I determined that I was going to be one of those boys. As the Cannonball rolled through Wabash to its deliberate stop, I jumped aboard the train like I had done many times before and after to get across town. This time I jumped up on the caboose and Bobby rubbed my head and smiled. This tiny act of approval from such a great man marked me like none other.
Mr. David Trantum
When I was in fifth grade, another boy told me I was stupid because of my speech, which causes me to reflect on my family of origin. Both my parents grew up in Harlan, Kentucky, and their manner of speech was clearly Appalachian. Imagine how the family in The Beverly Hillbillies spoke. This is a close representation. As a result, I took on the same speech patterns. Thankfully, my teacher, Mr. Trantum helped me realize my need to better use the English language.
Uncle Charles Osborne
My uncle Charles still calls me “Bootstrap” because I pulled myself up from my bootstraps and made something of my life. I’m very thankful to Charles because he modeled how a father was to behave.
This is important because my father died when I was 13, and I had to work to help support our family. I had paper routes, mowed yards, shoveled snow, detasseled corn, and worked as a busboy, which finally led me to a career in the restaurant business.
Pursue Your Dreams Through Personal Victory
Perhaps an over simplification but in my coaching practice I’ve identified 4 steps to Personal Victory:
- Deal With Past Hurts and Offer Forgiveness See this on How To Express Your Feelings or this
- Overcome Insecurity and Negative Self Talk
- Confront Toxic Relationships
- Find Your True Self and Develop Self Awareness